Week of 1/24 People who have been hurt often end up greeting the world wearing a heavy protective armor. Other people might misinterpret this protective armor as anger and respond by putting up their own armor and feeling angry, scared, intimidated or acting distant. When you let down your heavy protective shield and replace it with an invisible shield and a half smile. people feel safer and don't think they have to be on guard around you. They tend to act nicer,  warmer, softer and be friendlier.  Imagine you are a dog approaching another dog --- and wag your tail to let the other dog know that you are friendly!

 

While relaxing in a bookstore this past weekend I came across the following poem. I have often told my clients that we all tend to compare our insides to other people's outsides. I believe Jon describes just that experience in this poem. Hope you enjoy it and use it to realize that you are not alone. Judi 

 

My Daughter Says by Erica Jon

My daughter says
she feels like a Martian
that no one understands her,
that one friend is too perfect,
and another too mean
and that she has
the earliest bedtime in her whole class.

I strain to remember
how a third grader feels
about love, about pain
and I feel a hollow in my heart
where there should be blood
and an ache where there should
be certainty

My darling Molly,
no earthlings ever lived
who did not feel
like a Martian,
who did not curse her bedtime,
who did not wonder
how she got to this planet,
who dropped her here
and why
and how she can possibly stay.
I go to bed
whenever I like
and with whomever I choose,
nut still I wonder
why I do not
belong in my class,
and where my class is anyway,
and why so many of them
seem to be asleep
while I toss and turn
in perplexity.

They, meanwhile, imagine I am perfect
and have solved everything;
an earthling among the Martians,
at home on her home planet,
feet planted in green grass.

If only we could all admit
that none of us belongs here,
that all of us are Martians,
and that our bedtimes
are always
too early
or

too late.