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Judi's Musings on DBT and other topics

Thought of the Week

Week of 2/7/12 - Suppose you have tried and failed again and again. You may have a fresh start any moment you choose, for this thing we call "failure" is not the falling down, but the staying down.                            Mary Pickford

Week of 2/14/12 - Change your thoughts and you change the world.
                                                                                            Norman Vincent Peale

Week of 2/21/12 - Be Mindful of the Positive (Velcro Mind) and Unmindful of the negative (only mindful enough to keep you safe for that moment. Then let it go.) (Teflon mind)                                                             DBT Philosophy

     When you walk through a garden are you looking for the roses or the thorns?

Thought of the Week

It is time for me to catch up on my Thought of the Week. I give one of these to my clients each week and ask them to spend some time during the week thinking about the quote and considering how it might be meaningful in their life. I include the author's name when I know it. Unfortunately, some of these thoughts were given to me without an author being identified.
On here you will be seeing several Thoughts of the Week at once, but feel free to consider them one week at a time as they are intended.   

Week of 1/10 - A New Year of  DBT- See this on my website

Week of 1/17 -I may not be there yet but I am closer than I was yesterday.

Week of 1/24 People who have been hurt often end up greeting the world wearing a heavy protective armor. Other people might misinterpret this protective armor as anger and respond by putting up their own armor and feeling angry, scared, intimidated or acting distant. When you let down your heavy protective shield and replace it with an invisible shield and a half smile. people feel safer and don't think they have to be on guard around you. They tend to act nicer,  warmer, softer and be friendlier.  Imagine you are a dog approaching another dog --- and wag your tail to let the other dog know that you are friendly!

Week of 1/31 - I find the great thing in this world is not so much where we stand, as in what direction we are moving. Oliver Wendell Homes  

Using my skills during a challenging week.

 

My Daughter Says by Erica Jon

While relaxing in a bookstore this past weekend I came across the following poem. I have often told my clients that we all tend to compare our insides to other people's outsides. I believe Jon describes just that experience in this poem. Hope you enjoy it and use it to realize that you are not alone. Judi 
 
My Daughter Says by Erica Jon
My daughter says
she feels like a Martian
that no one understands her,
that one friend is too perfect,
and another too mean
and that she has
the earliest bedtime in her whole class.

I strain to remember
how a third grader feels
about love, about pain
and I feel a hollow in my heart
where there should be blood
and an ache where there should
be certainty

My darling Molly,
no earthlings ever lived
who did not feel
like a Martian,
who did not curse her bedtime,
who did not wonder
how she got to this planet,
who dropped her here
and why
and how she can possibly stay.
I go to bed
whenever I like
and with whomever I choose,
nut still I wonder
why I do not
belong in my class,
and where my class is anyway,
and why so many of them
seem to be asleep
while I toss and turn
in perplexity.

They, meanwhile, imagine I am perfect
and have solved everything;
an earthling among the Martians,
at home on her home planet,
feet planted in green grass.

If only we could all admit
that none of us belongs here,
that all of us are Martians,
and that our bedtimes
are always
too early
or

too late.
 

Thank you

I have been increasing hearing that my website is being used as the go-to place to explain DBT to patients in various hospitals, Universities and treatment facilities throughout the United States. I had no idea! I am honored and so pleased to hear this. I never thought I could create a website. I was amazed and thrilled when I actually was able to create this site. I am even more amazed and thrilled to hear that it is being viewed and being found so helpful to so many people. Thank you all so much.    

Marsha Linehan - NY Times Article

     If you have not already read it, please don't miss the article about Marsha Linehan on the front page of  today's New York Times.  I am awed by Linehan's courage in revealing so much about her own struggles with mental illness. Her revelations have already, in just this one day, inspired hope in so many people.  Several patients have already said that knowing what was behind the development of DBT has already increased their trust in this form of treatment. Knowing what the  creator of DBT has gone through in her own life has increased their own motivation to do the difficult work needed in order to heal. 
     I applaud Marsha for sharing of herself in this way, for her strength in accepting her own issues and for the validation she has given to so many people who are still struggling. The commitment she has to help others that is so evident in her research, is even more evident in her self revelations today.
     Thank you Dr. Linehan.         

Thought of the week

Learn to be quiet enough to hear the sound of the genuine within yourself so that you can hear it in other people.
                                                            Marian Wright Edelman
                                                                (Quaker saying)
 
    In DBT language, this is similar to getting in touch with Wise Mind.   

Thought of the Week

   I may not have caused my own problems
             and yet I am the only one who can solve them. 
   Totally and radically accepting this
             allows me to move forward.  
                           
                            DBT Philosophy on Radical Acceptance

Thought of the Week

"We cannot control the wind; we can only adjust the sails." Kahlil Gibran  

Thought of the Week - Radical Acceptance

My DBT Skills group is currently studying the concept of Radical Acceptance. The following quote, from one of the founders of pscyhotherapy, fits in very well with this concept so I decided to make it this weeks Thought of the Week. Perhaps you might want to spend some time sitting with this concept over the course of this week. Please feel free to contact me to share other sayings or quotes that you find therapeutic. They might just end up becoming one of my future Thoughts of the Week.
 
"The curious paradox is that when I accept myself as I am, then I can change."   
 
Carl Rodgers  
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